QUIT PUSHING
Alright already, I’m up, I’m up. Christ, it stinks in here. Can somebody please get this dog out of my room. I mean really, this is where I sleep.
“Farfel has four legs too so I’m sure the horses will love having him sleep with them.”
Wrong! I hate this mutt. He pissed on my leg, shit in my hay and he barks at anything that moves. I can barely turn around in here and they have to stick precious Farfel in here too. Some palace this is. They should sleep in here and see what a palace it is.
Yeah, open the freakin’ doors and get some fresh air in here.
Race day?
Whoa, wait a minute, Saturday, Saturday is race day. Today is Sunday pal, I trot a few laps and back to the paddock for lunch with that cute filly with the long face.
Getting ready for what Derby? Derby, Schmerby, I never agreed to this. They said I race on Saturday so I don’t really have to…what, shoes again? What’s wrong with these? They feel fine.
Hey, HEY, easy with the pliers fella.
How come fucking Farfel doesn’t have to wear shoes?
Fine, alright, I’m coming. I know, I know, the saddle, I'm not an idiot..
Easy, wait a minute, WAIT A MINUTE, will you hold on for one second, I told you the third hole on the strap is the one, the fourth one is too TIGHT.
Jesus, I can’t breathe. How do you people expect me to race when I can’t breathe.
Go ahead, walk behind me, just one clean shot - taste my hoof.
Keep laughing Farfel.
Hmm, the track's a tad muddy. I think we should go back, I can't run in this. Hey, are you listening? I’ve told you a hundred times I don’t like running in the…
…hey Runamuck, they got you running in this slop too, huh. What’s the good word?
Same shit, different track.
I know, you believe this mud. This whole place is a dump, the food sucks, tiny rooms. Do they make you sleep with dogs?
Hey Runamuck, what ever happened to that fella from Kentucky?
Oh, you mean Ima Walkin’, with the brown and white face. Funny bastard.
Remember when he farted in the guy’s face at the loading gate. Almost knocked him over. Boy he was funny…ran like a cripple, but funny as hell.
They timed him with a calendar.
Buwahahaha.
I heard he retired last year. He’s pulling some wagon in New York with all the other losers.
He’s a walkin’ alright, walkin’ twelve hour days for some jackass in a top hat. And get this, he has to wear a
diaper. Poor bastard. Remember Mount Up, he was a fast sucker. Now, he did it right.
Sure, you win a bunch of races and you retire to Florida. The guy gets up at noon, roams around all day yuckin’ it up with his buddies, eats whatever the hell he wants and get this, they bring in girls three, four times a week!
Me? Another one, two more years then I’m done with this crap.
Yep, I figure another couple of wins and it’s Florida here I come.
Ah, yes, gate #6, my lucky number. Alright, who do we have today. What a bunch of losers.
Is this the best you people can do? Dog food on four legs.
Hey Runamuck, look at this beauty – blinkers? C’mon ya big baby, afraid to see me passing your ass? I’m gonna beat you like a rented mule.
What’d ya say pal? You’re gonna beat who like a what? Furlong where? Yeah, I got your furlong right here!
Yeah, yeah, meet me in the winner's circle Elmer.
Look at this one, another bag a glue in #5.
C’mon people, some competition please!
Hmm, he’s little bigger than I thought.
OK, yep, definitely bigger than I thought.
Wow, really big.
Jesus, where’d this guy come from.
Runamuck, you know this guy?
Anybody seen this guy before.
This must be a mistake.
Hey, I thought this was just for three year olds?
Well, I’d check this guy’s papers. Seriously.
Will you just wait a minute and listen. There’s no way he’s three, look at the size of him.
First you make me work on my day off and now this.
OK, that’s it, I’m done; this guy’s cheating so I’m not racing. This whole thing is bogus and I’m outta…
…alright put the whip down.
Just put it down and let’s talk about this.
Yes, yes, OK, ALRIGHT, I was just kidding, can’t you take a joke.
Yes, right, I know, I’m in #6, next to Godzilla.
Look #12 is open, let’s go in there, much more room for me to...
…why not?
Who’s being fussy?
What’s the difference, #6, #12.
If anyone’s being fussy it’s…
…alright I’m going.
Quit pushing.
